Hardest Parts of being in a Relationship

Now that you’ve been together for a while, in a long-term relationship, you’re finding yourself hitting some road bumps. Perhaps, now, you might be wondering why relationships are so challenging to maintain. In the initial stages, you might have found everything to be relatively easy — things would have unfolded pretty well, you would never have fought or disagreed. None of you would have freaked out while trying to decide which movie to watch on Netflix or which restaurant to order.

But, as life tends to do, sooner or later, stuff’s starts to get real. That might mean a breakup after a year or two or three. It might also mean that you’re just not as into your relationship as you used to be, or it might just also be a slow stalling-out feeling. This kind of thing happens all the time, whatever the case may be.

• Relationships take a day-by-day commitment, and sometimes that feels easy to do, and other days it might also feel very exhausting. Sometimes you might think that love is not enough and you will feel like giving up and that’s okay.
• You might become attracted to someone else, and it can get confusing and complicated in navigating. This will be because you won’t be able to figure out if this situation where you think the grass is greener on the other side or if this new person is someone you’re meant to be together.
• Sometimes, nothing you say or do will help your significant other if they are going through something big and challenging emotionally. Since you’re on the front-lines of their emotions, they might take it out on you. There’s no getting around the fact that it will get tough for you. You can also get hurt, and shut-out even if you are very supportive and loving. All this shouldn’t be this way, but it will be that way, and you will have to try and weather the storm until whatever big thing they’re dealing with passes away.
• The emotional states of both parties are so heightened in a romantic relationship which makes it more challenging to traverse than in any other relationship. You will take things personally. Your emotions will be raw. You will also find yourself crying despite your better judgments. You will also learn to treat yourself with kindness.
• Sometimes you’ll be so sure that you want to be with them that they will be feeling like a critical limb, but other times you will be so indecisive and so not sure that you will not know how to see yourself out of the fog.
• You will start hating it when people say “you know when you know” because that’s not always true. It can be a total mindfuck to people in relationships where there are doubts and reevaluations. There is also a striking absence of the day to day certainty that love is supposed to afford you.
• Love can weaken, and that will be heartbreaking to witness if you’re both not going in the same direction and you’re both not growing together, and there are more incongruences.
• The fights are hard, but the conversations that could determine your future together are even more problematic.
• When you are trying to fit your life together, it is like trying to create a cohesive image out of jigsaw puzzle pieces from some twenty different boxes.
• It’s very much possible to be in a relationship and still sometimes feel very much alone.
• A relationship will expose everything that you hate about yourself if you don’t have at least a significant amount of self-acceptance and it will at the same time take all your energy not to get crushed under the weight of that kind of exposure.
• Every relationship is entirely different, but it gets effortless to compare yours to others. This will make you feel as though you’re missing something or making some egregious mistake.
• You won’t always want to hear the truth even though you want honesty. You will still want to tell the truth, but it will always be as cut and dry to say to it.
• A lot of messy relationship details like who’s making more money, who’s going to pay for what, what kind of financial situation you both want that can complicate the love in many ways that are insidious and sometimes invisible until they are issues that can explode like a bomb.
• Your emotional wires will get crossed, and you will not know what your feelings are versus what their feelings are, and you might need time away to be able to understand how you feel.
• Minor and stupid issues like a difference in eating or socializing habits can cause a severe divide that you think shouldn’t be there. Love should be able to overcome these things.
• Sometimes, the most loving thing for yourself might not benefit or feel particularly loving to your significant other. Sometimes if you are choosing yourself, then it might mean choosing to leave. Sometimes things will not be as fair or as unique as you thought they would be. 

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